I shudder at the thought of law enforcement ever impounding my computer. What a field day they’d have with my search history. Of course, they’d have fun, too, reading posts on the Forum as we simmers casually discuss the most efficient ways of getting rid of our sims or the cruelties to which we’ve subjected our darlings.
In my own defense, I’ve never been one to deliberately kill off any of my sims. I think I’ve only done that once — way back in the original game — and only under very extenuating circumstances. Yes, I felt awful afterward.
The deaths in my game have always been natural or accidental. But then, there’s the story of Chester Gieke and his untimely demise. It was murder.
Let me tell you the sad story of Chester Gieke.
Chester was a “pre-made” in Sims 2. I didn’t normally play pre-made sims, but at the time I put him into my game, I was needing a “house-sitter.” A kind elder lady, Lucille Menne, had been elected governor and I was preparing to move her into the governor’s mansion. I didn’t want to lose her lovely house and all its furnishings, though, so I grabbed Chester Gieke from the “sim bin” and let him live in the house until Miss Menne’s term as governor ended. I had no intentions of ever playing Chester.
But then one day as I was playing a young university student, Chester came strolling down the street. This girl was definitely looking for love, and when Chester stopped to chat, they quickly realized they were a perfect pair. They had so much in common. Their taste in music, their favorite foods, their aspirations for the future…oh, yes, Chester and nerdy Clarissa were meant for each other. They fell in love, got engaged, and planned to marry as soon as she graduated.
But then one day she tried to call Chester.
He was gone.
What? Where was he? I spent at least an hour — if not more — desperately searching for Chester. He was no longer living in Miss Menne’s house. She’d lost the most recent election and had returned home. Chester was supposed to be living back in the “sim bin” — the Sims 2 version of “household management.”
The bin was quite confusing, at least for players like me who had several different neighborhoods in the game. It was possible to remove a sim from the bin in one neighborhood, yet find the sim still “in the bin” in other neighborhoods. Soon after Miss Menne returned home, I went on a bin-cleaning binge and somehow in the process, I killed Chester Gieke. I didn’t mean to do it. Really, I didn’t.
I tried searching for another copy of Chester in another neighborhood bin. Alas, he was nowhere to be found. His girlfriend was devastated. They’d been so happy together. They were about to get married and begin their future. How could fate be so unkind?
Of course, it made for a terrific story, and to this day, no one in Bloomington — the neighborhood in which they lived — knows who killed Chester Gieke. His death remains one of those unsolved mysteries that haunts detectives to this day.
So, perhaps the time has come for me to stand up and make my confession. Yes, I murdered Chester Gieke, and I can no longer live with the guilt. I’m sorry, Clarissa. I didn’t mean to do it. Please, forgive me. May the Sim-gods have mercy on my soul.